A mysterious illness has befallen us
I found out this week that even pseudo illnesses can be contagious. Ah, the power of negative thinking!On Tuesday, I was actually on my way to work when I started feeling an almost overwhelming urge for a day off. A day to myself, while everyone else was away from the house (really, REALLY rare). It was a combination of lack of sleep (I've been on the insomnia train to nowhere lately) and irritation at work (I'm completely caught up, no, may I say, AHEAD of all of my projects and keep volunteering for work that amounts to fixing other people's crap that they should have done correctly in the first place) and, well, I'll be honest, I was just feeling lazy.
The closer I got to work, the more I convinced myself that I deserved a day off. So, at some point on the drive, I took an offramp and started back north to home and my books and my music and my cats and lovely, lovely aloneness.
I've never had a problem lying my way out of work. "Not feeling well." Simple, not too many gory details. As long as it's not overdone, it's believable. I went back in on Wednesday feeling rested, restored and rejuvenated.
It started pretty early. A phone call. Co-worker one, calling in, saying she thinks she has "what Sheryl had yesterday." Really? A case of fake-itis? The second call. Co-worker two, down for the count. I sense a pattern here. Caller number three actually said her whole FAMILY was sick. Now I'm being blamed for passing a non-existent illness to a spouse and children I've never met!
It all brought to mind a guy I worked with in the past. He was the poster boy for hypochondria. If someone sneezed with 20 feet of him, he could be out for a week, hovering around the proverbial door of death. The best example of his ability to co-opt any and everyone's symptoms came when a woman we worked with quietly confided in a couple of us that she was going home with a bad case of monthly cramps. Not forty-five minutes later, Mr. Health and Vitality announced he had to go home. He was absolutely certain he had caught what she had!
He sure was cranky when we told him what she was suffering from. Maybe some Midol would have helped.
posted by Sheryl @ 10:05 PM
5 Comments:
I hope none of your coworkers or bosses have discovered this blog.
Yeah what Kapgar said....
Also, either they are all hypos OR they all seriously used you as THEIR excuse to have a day off.
How funny is this? I just told Bret that story about Dave this week! Must be the week for hypochondria discussions.
kapgar - I've never shared it with any of them, and I can always claim it's fiction, anyway. ;>)
snackiepoo - One woman just came back today and as soon as she saw me, she said "There's the woman who made me sick." I said, "But I was faking it!" Everyone laughed. What can I say? They believe the lies but not the truth.
sj - I knew you would recognize that story right away. We must be on the same wavelength.
If I didn't love my current position I may have succumed to the 'tireds' Sleep sleep...
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